You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize