I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
