I just saw a hot homeless man
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
