all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
