I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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