its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
