I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
