i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
