is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
