I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
