you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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