I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
