Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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