My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
