Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
