I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
