after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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