She swung at the pinata with crutches
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
