Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
