Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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