i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
