You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
