going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize