He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize