She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
