I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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