im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
