that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
