I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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