I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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