I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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