I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
