Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
