I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
