apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
