he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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