YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
