she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
