What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
