I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
