garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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