That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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