Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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