My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize