areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
