I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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