If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
