i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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