dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
