...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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