He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
