Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
