she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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