how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
