1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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