direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize