none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
