Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
