All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
