Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
