I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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