I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
