He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
